How does that saying go? “If you can’t love yourself, who will?” I don’t know where that phrase came from but can I get an, “AMEN”?! … Also, completely unrelated and on a different note, it’s Ash Wednesday and I thought that was funny haha (yes mom I’m going to mass after I post this).
Anywayyyy, I hope you’re all having a love filled day! For those of you who don’t know me all that well…
I am a shameless Valentine’s Day fangirl!
Say what you will about it being a Hallmark Holiday, but I think a day dedicated to celebrating love—whether romantic, familial, platonic, or for oneself—is kind of wonderful.
It was never about finding someone to share the day with or being spoiled rotten but rather, I loved having a day to share my love for other people and to let them know how much they mean to me. I mean sure, I try to tell them everyday but even more so on Valentine’s Day. Everyone in my life is so so sooo special to me and I hope you guys know that.
However, I do feel like Valentine’s Day gets a bad reputation for being too commercialized or for putting too much pressure on people; both valid points but I also notice that Valentine’s Day triggers some people to feel inadequate. All I have to say to that is,
“YOU ARE ENOUGH.”
Self-love is a powerful thing and sometimes we neglect to take care of ourselves and see our self worth.
If you don’t believe that you have any value, you will always be so hungry for a buyer that you’ll become blind to the discount you consistently agree to. However, your gut will always know and it will eat away at the core of your being until you meet the universe half way.
So on this love themed day, if you’ve got no one to love, love yourself!
Self Love Rule #1 – Know Your Qualities
To discover why you should fall in love with yourself, make a list of all the qualities that make you who you are—the good, the bad, and the quirky. Next, marvel at your awesome attributes and take a closer look at the not-so-awesome ones. Is there something you think is negative only because others have told you it was? Try to question those labels.
When I was growing up, people would criticize me for being shy. I internalized their judgment and tried to find ways to “get out of my shell.” When I was unable to accomplish this, I found that I was miserable with who I was simply because of other people’s opinions. Over the years, I learned that my personality is beautiful, whether I choose to show it to everyone or wait until I’m comfortable, and that is what makes me special.
(Hi, hello, I’m still an introvert. Bet you never would’ve guessed!)
Self Love Rule #2 – Speak To Yourself With Love
Fun fact, I give myself verbal high fives all the time and you should too!
When I accomplish a difficult task or even when I manage to get myself out the door on time for work in the morning, I tell myself what a superstar I am. When I get through a 45-minute interval session without any breaks, I congratulate myself on being so fit, regardless of how fast I was going compared to the other gym-goers. Even when I don’t do anything spectacular, I make sure that I tell myself at least once a day that I am a goddess.
Speaking to myself this way celebrates my transition from not loving myself to being completely filled with self-love. It might sound cheesy, but indulge in a gabfest of compliments and watch how it can transform your thinking.
Self Love Rule #3 – Treat Yo’ Self
I sometimes have to make a conscious effort to find balance in my life, whether it’s the work-life balance or the healthy living, fun-food-eating balance. But I try to reward myself when I know I’m on a roll.
I work most of the hours of the day. I work through meals, my commute, and I even brainstorm ideas in the shower. I normally use the remainder of my day for much-needed sleep, but sometimes I splurge on social activities or plan a trip. I may spend an entire week holed up at the office, but instead of getting rest on the weekends, I’ll make time for friends or jump on a flight. Of course, sleep is uber important, but, for me, carving out time for fun (mostly travel) helps me feel balanced.
With this in mind, try to let yourself celebrate without allowing guilt to overtake you. You can eat that piece of German chocolate cake after a week of eating healthy. You can go out after a hard day of work. Or, you can have a Netflix marathon after a hard day at work.
If you view it as striking up a good balance, then you will enjoy the reward that much more as you release those negative feelings. Love yourself by balancing your hard work and dedication with fulfilling, enjoyable rewards.
Self Love Rule #4 – Prioritize Yourself
Put yourself at the top of your to-do list. Make time for self-care and do what makes you happy, not what makes others happy.
I spent many years doing what other people wanted while ignoring my own needs. I justified this by telling myself that I had to put others first and, if not, I was being selfish. These are lessons that we grow up with and, while they are not inherently wrong, they are flawed.
Putting others first to the detriment of you is the opposite of healthy living. It is not a sign of being a “good” person. It is an indication of a person who is not living life fully.
Self Love Rule #5 – Be Kind To Yourself
Don’t be so hard on yourself. I know, easier said than done, but try to allow room for mistakes and the evolution of you. Know that learning to love yourself makes growth easier. Whatever happens, know that you’re doing the best you can, and you can do even better tomorrow.
Before I discovered the art of self-love, I’d compare my journey to that of others, especially when it came to my career. I didn’t want to be in the place where life left me, and I felt shame and disappointment in myself. I had to learn that just as each of us is unique, we reach our destinations in unique ways, too.
Everything that makes me who I am has contributed to my life story, and I must embrace it. What’s more, I must be intentional in changing whatever trajectory my decisions have put me on if that’s not the path I want to take. The only way to do that is to shed your fear of failure and start to learn from your mistakes. Clarity and peace of mind come when you know that things happen when they are supposed to—and not a moment sooner or later.
There is no one better to fall in love with than yourself.
You are the person who was with you from the very start, and you will be with you until the very end. So count the many ways you are special, and remind yourself every day why you matter. Reward yourself for being such a bomb person and don’t feel guilty when you choose to do something that makes you happy.
And if you fail to do these things on a consistent basis? Give yourself a break—you deserve it.
Love ya, mean it! ❤